


The Beginnings of Loki Laufeyson

by Pebblish



Category: Loki: Agent of Asgard, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-02 00:37:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14532879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pebblish/pseuds/Pebblish
Summary: Loki Laufeyson, the King of Jotunheim, the Prince of Asgard, the God of Mischeif, brother to Thor. Witness Loki's troubled childhood, the beginning of his resentment of Thor and Odin, his betrayal of his family, his defeat at the hands of the Avengers, and everything that came after.





	1. The Youngest Son of Odin

**Author's Note:**

> This is all told from Loki's perspective, and is meant to accompany the movies. I don't have the movies memorized, so I apologize if I get some scenes and quotes wrong. This fanfic is mainly a work to express my love for Loki and Tom Hiddleston.

 

Loki turned over in his bed, pulling the sheep fur blanket tighter around him, muttering in his sleep. The night’s darkness crept into the room of the young prince, leaking through the open window and drifting to the huddled form of Loki. The boy tossed in his sleep, seemingly tormented by a dream. The darkness congealed around the bed, and began to slither, snake like, into the sheets. Perhaps Loki felt some cold grasp of the darkness, for his blue eyes sprang open and he sat up quickly in bed, gasping for breath. The darkness receded immediately, like a wounded animal. Loki looked around his room, sweat beading on his pale face. The moonlight streamed into the room to shine on the boy’s raven hair, his blue eyes glinting in the light of the moon. Loki pressed a shaking hand to his face, inhaling slowly. His heart was beating a frantic tempo, pounding against his ribs as if to break free from prison. The bright blue eyes stared out the window, the full pink lips parted slightly. 

“The same dream,” Loki whispered softly, pushing the silken sheets off and getting out of bed easily. His footsteps were silent as he walked to the balcony, the Asgardian breeze tousling his dark curls. Loki leaned against the balcony railing, gazing out at the constellations dotting the dark sky. He knew all of them- he had made a point to memorize every star, every constellation. They were like friends to him. Constant beacons, shining for him. 

Loki’s blue eyes were distant, thinking back to the dream. He had been haunted by the same dream for months now. And every night, without fail, he would wake in a cold sweat, terrified. 

  
  


In his dream, the darkness was cold. It swept him up, immense and supernaturally strong, sticking to his skin and turning it black. No matter how much he fought, no matter how much he screamed, cried, or begged for help, the darkness engulfed him. Then, just as the darkness was creeping up his abdomen, about to turn his heart black, his father appeared in the misty blackness. Loki would scream and reach for his father, tears stinging in his eyes. But Odin only stared silently at his struggling form, his face hard and stoic. 

“You are no son of mine.” 

The dream always ended with Loki’s scream as the darkness swallowed him whole. 

  
  


As Loki surveyed Asgard from his balcony, he couldn’t stop seeing his father’s face. And his mind, as minds do when agitated and anxious, kept replaying the words.

_ You are no son of mine. _

Loki buried his face in his hands, furiously fighting the tears that pricked at the back of his eyes. He couldn’t cry over a nightmare. He was nearly thirteen years old. He wasn’t a child anymore. 

 

Loki returned slowly to his bed, curling up in his sheets and sheep fur blanket once more. He rested his head on the pillow, closed his eyes, and exhaled quietly. He was determined to not have the nightmare again. 

  
  


***

  
“Faster, Loki!”

The sharp clang of metal on metal rang throughout the training room, and Loki tumbled to the ground. Thor stood over him, a frown marring his usually genial face. Loki shook his hair out of his eyes, tightening his grip on the dagger his father had gifted him. Thor held out a large hand, and Loki took it. Thor hoisted him off the ground with a small grunt, and the two brothers stood facing each other for a moment. They were alone in the training room. Thor was sparring with a greatsword, forgoing his hammer for once. Loki tossed his dagger up in the air and caught it easily, avoiding his brother’s unwavering gaze. 

“What bothers you, brother?”

Thor clapped a hand on Loki’s shoulder, a reassuring smile replacing the frown. 

Loki drew himself up, sheathing his dagger swiftly. He did not feel like discussing his worries with Thor. How could Thor possibly understand? He would never understand Loki’s feelings of rejection, his feelings of unworthiness. His doubt. His pain. 

“Nothing,”

Loki’s voice was cold as he shrugged off Thor’s hand, pacing quickly away from him. When he had walked about twenty feet away, he turned to look at his brother. Loki sized his older brother up, trying to find what made Thor the favorite son. Thor was broad-shouldered, with arms built for combat. He had large hands, a square jaw and a straight nose. Tangled blonde hair reached to his chin, and friendly blue eyes stared out of the youthful face. Loki was taller than Thor, leaner. He was not built for combat. He had long arms and legs, skin as pale as milk, and defined cheekbones. He had a sharp nose, and steely blue-grey eyes. His beautiful raven hair tumbled in slight curls to just above his shoulders. 

Thor raised the sword to his eye-level and ran a finger along the blade’s edge. 

“You forget I know you well, little brother. Speak, tell me what ails you. Perhaps I can help.”

Loki gritted his teeth in anger, restraining his quick temper and fixing a polite smile on his face. 

“I have not been sleeping well recently, that is all. Nothing to trouble yourself with.”

There were implied words coolly concealed in what was spoken;  _ Keep your nose out, if you know what is good for you. _

But Thor did not see that Loki was less than keen to discuss the subject with him.

Thor brought the sword swishing through the air, his eyes fixing on Loki’s face.

“How about a wager, then?”

Thor took two steps towards Loki, clasping the sword with both of his large hands. 

“If I disarm you, you must tell me what bothers you.”

Loki raised one thick eyebrow at his brother, one hand automatically dropping to the dagger sheathed at his waist. 

“And if you fail to disarm me?”

Thor blinked. He clearly had assumed he would win the wager.

“Then… I will convince father to let you join me and my friends when we travel to another realm with Heimdall.” His voice was confident, as if he could only see an outcome where he defeated his brother. 

Loki drew his dagger immediately, holding it close to his face. Both pairs of blue eyes met, and Loki nodded.

“I’ll be joining you and your companions on your next adventure, brother,”

Loki’s gaze hardened, his pink lips setting into a tight line. 

“Try and disarm me, then.”

Thor grinned widely, and charged at Loki. 

Loki sidestepped so quickly his movements blurred, a flash of green and black. Thor barreled past him, spinning on the spot to face Loki again. 

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to be a bit cleverer than that, Thor.”

Loki smirked, twirling the emerald studded dagger, a glint in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. 

Thor squared his shoulders, raising the sword again and fixing Loki with a glare. 

“No using magic, brother. I know your fondness for such tricks.”

Loki’s teeth flashed white in a rare smile at his brother’s statement.

“Oh no, I won’t use any tricks on you, brother.”

Thor nodded, and ran at Loki again. He brought the sword swishing down through the air, and would have collided with Loki’s dagger, but the sword hit empty air, destroying the projected image of Loki. Thor turned, his eyes scanning the room. 

Loki’s laugh echoed loudly, bouncing eerily off the walls and ceiling. Thor tightened his grip on his sword, and kept pivoting to find his brother.

“Loki! Show yourself!”

Loki reappeared directly behind his brother, pressing his dagger to Thor’s throat. He leaned close to Thor, his lips a breath away from Thor’s ear. 

“It seems you’ve lost, dear brother.”

Thor was breathing heavily, and Loki knew he was upset he had been fooled. 

“Very well, I admit defeat. You may come on my next adventure.”

Thor’s eyes darted to look pointedly at Loki, and Loki withdrew the dagger. Thor took several steps away from his brother, rubbing his throat, as if he had believed Loki would split it open.

Loki sheathed his dagger, his eyes following Thor. There was a feeling of immense satisfaction that came with defeating Thor, the perfect warrior. It had been done with a bit of magic, a bit of trickery, but what did it matter how he won, as long as he won? Every victory against his brother brought him more equal to him.

A servant came rushing into the training room, looking at the two boys suspiciously. He gave Loki one look, then addressed Thor.

“Your father, the King, wishes to speak to you.”

Thor looked from the servant to Loki, unsure for a second. Loki felt a sharp pang of resentment in his belly, and stepped forward. The servant turned to stare coldly at Loki, as if he were some common mortal.

“Did our father send for both of us?” 

Loki tried concealing the hopeful tone, but he failed entirely, and his question sounded like a plea. 

Thor glanced at Loki sympathetically, while the servant straightened up and said flatly; “No, his Majesty just wishes to speak to your brother,  _ alone _ .”

Thor walked over to his brother and clapped him on the back, his expression pitying.

“I'll see you tonight, brother.”

Loki gritted his teeth together and nodded, avoiding Thor’s eyes.

Thor bustled off, following the servant out of the training room, his blonde hair moving with every step he took.

Loki was left in the silent training room, anger and humiliation burning in him. And there was the most pathetic urge to cry that he was desperately fighting as he stood like a statue, one hand resting on the hilt of his dagger. 

 


	2. A Chance Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after chapter 1, Loki and Thor are young godlings. Loki and Thor decide to escape the castle and explore Asgard, and Thor drags Loki into a brothel. There, Loki meets a maiden who will change his life forever.

Thor tightened his cloak around him, pulling the black woolen hood over his distinctive blonde waves. His blue eyes flicked to his brother, who was standing a flicked to Loki, who was clasping a pale grey cloak over his leather tunic. Loki sensed his brother’s eyes on him and looked up, his face unreadable.Loki nodded to his brother, throwing his hood over his dark curls. Thor gestured wordlessly, leading the way down a narrow passage deep in the castle. The sound of their footsteps echoed slightly off the claustrophobic stone walls, Loki keeping his eyes on Thor’s figure that was dimly lit by torches every few feet along the passage. Loki knew the passage opened up onto a deserted street in lower Asgard, where the two princes could escape the castle silently. It wasn’t that they were escaping- Thor had suggested they get out and enjoy life for once- and Loki had agreed. When was the last time he had seen anything other than the golden walls of the castle? He couldn’t remember. Thor stopped suddenly ahead of him, and Loki stopped before he tumbled into his brother. 

“Here is the door,” Thor’s gruff voice seemed too loud in the silence of the passage.

Loki gave Thor a light push. 

“I haven’t got all night, you know.” 

Thor growled at the push, and opened the door hesitantly. Loki saw him duck his head around the door, checking that the coast was clear. 

Thor disappeared into the darkness outside, and Loki followed him cautiously. If they were caught- well, he could imagine Father’s rage. The twilight air was crisp and clean, and Loki breathed in deeply. It was so different from the castle already. He looked around curiously, Thor standing beside him. The secret passage had opened onto a narrow side street, with brick buildings on either side, the cobbled street sloping easily southwards. Thor grabbed Loki by the arm, leading him down the street, heading south. Loki shrugged out of Thor’s grip, the flash of anger across his face was not seen by Thor who strode ahead. The street continued, winding lazily through the houses, with it gradually getting narrower and narrower. 

“Brother, do you know where we are going?”

Loki was keeping close behind Thor, feeling skeptical of his brother. Thor wasn’t the sharpest sword in the armory, he was much better at fighting. Loki wouldn’t have been surprised if Thor had gotten them both lost. 

Thor huffed, and continued walking. 

“We’re going to a brothel.”

Loki stepped dead, staring at Thor’s silhouette. 

“You can’t be serious.”

Thor looked over his shoulder at his younger brother, grinning mischievously. 

“I think my little brother needs to visit a brothel for the first time and experience an Asgardian maiden.”

Thor tugged Loki by the hand, and they wove between the brick buildings swiftly, their cloaks flapping softly in the breeze. Thor stopped at a building with torches burning on either side of the heavy wooden door, and Loki could smell the ale even outside. He wrinkled his nose, feeling repulsed.This place was perfect for Thor, but he was not Thor. He turned away from the brothel, determined to sneak back into the castle through the passage and go straight to bed- this had been a waste of time. 

Thor clapped one large hand on Loki’s shoulder, and spun him around.

“Oh no, brother. No sneaking off now. It’s time you acted like an Asgardian.”

Loki bit back the scathing retort he was so urged to fling at Thor, and Thor steered him into the brothel, throwing open the front door with a crack. 

The brothel was dim, with tables scattered around the room, and flickering candles burning on the tables. Sofas were strewn haphazardly about, with men lounging lazily on the sofas. There were perhaps twenty men in the brothel, and all of them had pints of foaming ale. The men stared at Loki and Thor as they entered, and Loki felt a thrill of dread race up his spine. Everyone in Asgard knew what Thor looked like- he was the prince who was most likely to ascend to the throne, and he was also handsome- more a legend than a living being. Loki, on the other hand, was always stuck in the background, struggling in Thor’s shadow. The people in Asgard knew Odin had two sons, but no one noticed Loki the way they noticed Thor. They would recognize Thor by his broad shoulders and long blonde hair, but Loki was just a shadow to them. 

All of this whirred through Loki’s mind as he followed Thor up to the bar on the far side of the room, scanning the room cautiously. This had been a mistake, there was no question. Everyone would recognize Thor, and word would spread like wildfire that the future king had been seen in a brothel. Odin’s fury would know no bounds. 

Thor leaned casually on the bar, flashing a charming smile at the barmaid. 

“Two ales, if you please.”

The girl blushed scarlet, and ducked her head, her russet curls tumbling to cover her face. Loki stood by the bar awkwardly, still watching the occupants of the bar in his peripheral vision. There were maidens drifting around the room, scantily dressed in sheer white togas. Loki did not stare at them as some of the men did- they didn’t interest him. He’d never found a maiden that held his eye. He didn’t want a woman who would sell herself to anyone, he wanted loyalty and something more than a relationship driven by money or sex. And he didn’t want a woman who would abandon or reject him. So far, he had been unsuccessful in finding a woman like that. 

The barmaid heaved two pints of foaming ale onto the bar, and Thor thanked her heartily, handing one pint to Loki. Loki took it reluctantly, looking down at the golden liquid and pursing his lips. He had never liked ale. Thor threw back his head and downed his pint in seconds, wiping his mouth with his hand. Loki raised an eyebrow at him, and Thor shrugged. 

“It’s good ale- I wasn’t going to waste it.”

Loki passed his pint to Thor, who took it and finished it immediately. Thor slammed the two empty pints on the bar, and sauntered off to collapse on a dark green sofa. Loki followed and reclined on the sofa opposite his brother, trying to relax. If someone recognized them, he would handle it. With gold… or by other means. It didn’t matter.

Loki had just debated the probability of the brothel having some of his favorite wine, when a maiden prowled over to stand in front of him. He surveyed her, feeling slightly bored. She was slender, with golden skin and silvery white hair. She was wearing a sheer green dress, and there was a crown of leaves woven in her hair. She bent down to his eye level, and he noticed that one eye was a blue as pale as the sky, and the other was a clear sea-green. Her delicate red lips curved in the shadow of a smile at him, a smile he did not return. 

“Good evening, my lord. Is there anything you require?” 

She ran a small hand along his jaw, and he was startled by the warmth of her fingers. It was like she was burning. 

Loki looked past her to his brother, who was surrounded by three maidens, one of whom had perched herself on his lap and had started to play with his hair. 

The maiden grabbed Loki’s face gently, tilting it up so he met her peculiar eyes again. 

“I would prefer your undivided attention,  _ my prince. _ ”

Loki stared at her, eyes wide. The maiden smiled at his reaction, and bent so her lovely lips were at his ear. Her breathy voice sent shivers down his spine.

“I recognized your brother first, but I was surprised to see you here,”

Loki felt the urge to push her away, and pull her into him. It was maddening, the smell of her hair, like jasmine and citrus. 

“And why were you surprised to see me?”

His voice was a whisper. 

“Everyone knows the cold prince Loki, always looking so serious and aloof. I would never imagine to see the same prince  _ here _ .”

She drew away from him, reaching down to grab his hand. She pulled him to his feet, and Loki was surprised to find that she was quite strong. They stood, faces centimeters apart. She was several inches shorter than him, her burning fingers intertwining with his. 

Her mesmerizing eyes held him transfixed, as she led him from the sofa to the other side of the room, to a flight of stairs that presumably led to a second level.

“Where are you taking me?”

Loki was torn between pulling his hand out of hers and following her. He decided he would follow this intriguing maiden. 

The second floor was dark, the only light coming from the floor below, which barely illuminated the walls. 

“Well, my prince-”

And Loki was thrust harshly against a wall, the maiden pressing a dagger to his throat. He huffed, irritated and yet impressed. She had taken him completely by surprise. 

“Is this where you kill me?”

Her lovely red lips parted in a gleam of perfect white teeth, and he wanted to kick himself for being so drawn to her. 

“No, this is the part where I take all the gold you have.”

Loki smiled. 

“I must admit, I’m disappointed. I was hoping you would be more than a whore and a petty thief, but I guess I was mistaken.”

The maiden growled, the knife digging into his skin, drawing a prick of blood.

“Be glad I’m not killing you, arrogant prince.”

She withdrew the knife and smacked the butt of the blade hard across his forehead, and Loki dropped like a stone. The impact was like being thrown off a mountain. Who was this woman?

Dazed, Loki moaned on the floor, his vision darkening. 

He felt himself being roughly searched, heard the chink of gold as it was removed from his pockets, and saw the hazy form of the maiden standing over him.

“Thank you, my prince. I hope you will remember this. My name is Sigyn. Perhaps we will meet again.”

Loki tried to stand, but his head swam, and his legs failed him. That woman would  _ pay  _ for this. 

“I hate to hurt that pretty face, but this is a necessity.”

And Sigyn stomped hard on his face.

Loki was knocked unconscious, and Sigyn disappeared from the brothel, unnoticed by Thor, who was surrounded by five maidens and had downed a dozen pints of ale. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I know what some of are you are going to say- "This woman isn't canon! She's not real, this fic is a joke"- okay, let me explain. I will try my utmost to make this fic as close to what I believe Loki's life might have looked like, and what made him do the things he did. But adding Sigyn is a little personal twist for me. I think it's important ti explore what a romantic relationship would be like for Loki, and how his issues would affect that relationship. Sigyn is in Norse mythology, and in Norse mythology she is Loki's wife. We'll see what happens between Sigyn and Loki. ;)


End file.
